REVIEW : Twilight

Although i saw this movie ages ago (twice i might add, and i also fell asleep twice) i believe it deserves an honest non " im in love with Edward Cullen soo much i buy a t-shirt from supre informing everyone of this fact" opinion.

Firstly YES i read the book, no i didn't read the second one or the one after that but i did read the first cover to cover. Im saddened that todays youth have this to read as opposed to Goose bumps and Anamorphs!......... cos they rocked! and this ....... not so much.......

Im not going to bore you with the details of the plotline as someone else has wasted important time in their life writing this -----------> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twilight_(novel)

Instead im going to concentrate on only two of the LAME things the characters say in this film (trust me there is MORE), are we ready? lets go.

Isabella Swan: So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?

Edward Cullen: Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.

Yes because there is different brands of heroin, just like Coke and Pepsi, if your Edward Cullen you get to walk up to the human vending machine and pick you favorite flavour. Taking a vampires lust and making it akin to a serious drug is lame he could get the same feeling across like 50 cent does in his song 21 Questions, it goes "i love you like a fat kid loves cake" to me cake is much more appealing than heroin!

Isabella Swan: You've got to give me some answers.

Edward Cullen: I'd rather hear your theories.

Isabella Swan: I have considered radioactive spiders and kryptonite.

Edward Cullen: That's all superhero stuff, right? What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm... the bad guy?

Once again the lame bell tolls, ripping on possibly two of the greatest fictional characters to ever grace this earth, both of which could kick his ass, both of which have a greater following, both of which have better movies or television shows than this movie.

What if he is the BAD guy, the bad at acting guy?! the bad at looking even remotely attractive in any photo guy? im no oil painting myself but i dont parade around like this!

Exhibit A

Nice "do" although i prefer to call it a DO NOT! and what kind of ears are those? apart from idiotic.

Exhibit B

Umm what is he posing for here? the "old enough to be a man but i still look like a boy" yearly calendar?